Parent Responsibility

I'm not even going to set up the scene, the exchange will speak for itself.  I was working with two students and here goes a conversation I will NEVER forget.

Names have been changed for privacy, as always.  Meet Tom and Bob.

Tom: Ms. Sabio, did I just masturbate?
Me: What?!  Why would you ask me that?!
Tom:  Because I just touched myself and you looked at me.

(My mind is spinning...)

Me:  I looked at you because I was talking to you!
Tom: Oh.

(I have no idea what's happening right now...)

Bob:  What's masturbate?

(Before I could wrap my mind around where this conversation was going...)

Tom:  It's when you touch yourself (so matter of fact).  Ms. Sabio is it ok to touch myself?
Me: No, not here in the speech room.
Tom:  Where then?
Me: Um...in the bathroom, at home?  You should most definitely talk to your parents about this.
Tom:  Oh ok.

Oh, my, goodness.  Yes this really happened.
I am not trained to explain this stuff to teenage boys.

Lesson to parents:  Please educate your teens about sexual maturity, please!  This is most definitely beyond my scope of practice.